Part of this month’s writing challenge has been in an effort to clean up my mind. I finally acknowledged the other day when I was wandering aimlessly around the house, trying to work out where to start cleaning and packing up things, that collecting things, surrounding myself with clutter is also a reflection of my mind health. I started with the kitchen, which is now immaculate. I’m smiling writing this as this acheivement has been 3 weeks in the making.
I am moving soon so need to pack up the house any way. I am also cleaning out stuff I really dont need and don’t wish to take with me. A mammoth task for a closet hoarder. This move is actually also part of my mind shift. I have lived in my hometown for 40 years now. I have been afraid to move from the safety of this town. I know it like the lines on the palm of my hand.. know its streets, know a lot of the residents. It’s uneventful here, nothing interesting happens and I know where everything is with my eyes closed. It’s safe for a few reasons.. I know it and I am not challenged there. I can merely exist and it’s easy.
The next room to undertake, and actually start putting in moving boxes is my Craft Room. It’s more a nook really, but filled with stamps, a sewing machine, a dress maker’s mannequin adorned in a half made jacket, fabric, scrap booking supplies and ample supplies of other various bibs and bobs that could easily fill a whole shop. It has come to my attention this week that my craft buying habits can be likened to that of a bower bird. I seem drawn to all things shiny and sparkly.
The other reason for that room to be one of the first to pack up is to sell off some of my supplies that are no longer needed. I know they will be treasured by another fellow creative to use in their masterpieces. Plus I will make some much needed money to go towards my moving costs.. win-win really.
I have created this situation where I have to move now, for my son. He is enrolled in a school that is just that bit far away. It’s too long for him to travel to, by public transport. I was desperate to nurture his flailing education at the end of last year. Enrollment into this “alternative style” institution where he can embrace his musical talents has changed his previous mindset about his education.
Whether the move is viewed as voluntary or forced. It is inevitable. Moving is going to be good for me. Good for the kids too. That process will provide a huge wave of healing too. No doubt huge stress, however I am determined that this mind shift I am experiencing will enable me to be able to cope with it in a better way than I could before.
Back to my bower bird habits. My Craft Room is my creative haven.. I always feel calm and at home in the seemingly overgrowth of fabric, glitter, paints, markers, paper etc. This task of sorting and packing this area is slow.. as like the bower bird, I pick something up and it excites me. I remember why I bought it. So am putting together little envelopes with an actual project.. for example, i have some gorgeous diamentes for a greeting card I had in mind. So i put all the bits together so one day i can pick it up and its all organised. I feel doing this makes completing things easier too, as the hard part is already done.
I used to wear lots of rings and always adorned my neck in bling.. I have noticed now that while I’m drawn to all things that glisten, my tastes are simplified. I haven’t gone searching through my messy jewellery collection in ages. I am satisfied with less. Clearly due to my changed view of myself. I accept who I am.. I enjoy pretty things, however I don’t need to decorate myself to feel better about who I am. Now to feel better about my face with no makeup. Ergh.. babysteps here.. lol