There have been times when I’ve honestly feel like my thought processes are nothing short of ludicrous in comparison to most, who process in a seemingly more structured, chronological, ordered fashion than mine; where everything (more or less) makes sense. My brain seems wired to organise thoughts in a completely different way.
For most of my life I have felt misunderstood, to the point of feeling alien. When I was young I thought it was some sort of curse, some evil spell that was put on me, to process the world in non-linear fashion to way most “normal” people did. It has been a major reason that I have been particularly hard on myself about over the years. Why can’t I just be like everyone else? “Why do I need to think so far out of the box?” I’d ask myself regularly.
Well… I’ve finally (It has only taken me 40 years…lol) realised that.. Hey! I’m NOT like everyone else! Because I am not meant to be! I am a CREATIVE! I have a Creative mind! As artists and creative types, our brains ARE wired differently than most. Having finally embraced the Quirkiness and Creative Genius that IS me, has been pure BLISS!
When I was around four, I’d to drive my mother crazy! I was so strong-willed (still am LOL) and we would constantly butt heads almost every day. One story she recounted to me was the day she had picked out an outfit for me to wear for my Kindergarten Class Photos. I absolutely refused to wear it. Instead I picked something completely different, refusing to wear anything else LOL! Of course, I don’t actually remember this incident, but it did bring a smile to my face to realise that even as a child I showed early signs of headstrong individuality. That headstrong, fiercely individualistic little blonde haired girl is still very much alive in me. I’m still stubborn as shit, but that is ok as I am aware that my inner-child is still present in me.
The golden part of embracing how I see the world, even though at times my thoughts are a bit all-over-the-place, eccentric, obsessed, whimsical, visionary (and this is just a self observation made on this mornings antics mind you! LOL!) is that I am NOT alone. In fact this is common to individuals who are blessed with Creative minds.
In the 1960’s, psychologist Frank X Baron, conducted research on: “What makes highly creative people different from the rest of us?” Barron conducted a series of experiments on some of his generation’s most renowned thinkers in an attempt to isolate their unique spark of creative genius. The study demonstrated that creativity is informed by a whole host of intellectual, emotional, motivational and moral characteristics. The common traits of individuals in the study showed that people across all creative fields seemed to have in common an openness to one’s inner life; a preference for complexity and ambiguity; an unusually high tolerance for disorder and disarray; the ability to extract order from chaos; independence; unconventionality; and a willingness to take risks.
I came from a creative Mother. Our house was always in disarray. Mum preferred to spend her time in her sewing room, rather than keeping her home in order. She placed a higher importance on her creative expression than an organised house (being one of four daughters, I’m certain we contributed to the house being a little unkempt at times LOL!)
I pride myself on keeping a CLEAN home, however, like mum it is not always ordered. For example, you might find a pile of things at the front door, ready to be donated to Goodwill (this 3 months after being placed there LOL!). Even with the best intentions, ideas aren’t always followed through on through to completion before yet another idea has already emerged and taken my interest.
Scattered projects not withstanding, I am now trying to see things through to completion. I currently have a list that I’ve been working on to get things finished, before starting on new projects. Not sure how much luck I will have, but I know I need to work on being a bit more focused. Perhaps after I move, I can get all my UFO’s (unfinished objects) completed. Still the benefit to having a creative brain is that I am never bored or without something to keep me occupied.
In conclusion to whether being creative is a gift or a curse, I would have to conclude that it is definitely a gift. If you are creative and stifling your talents, then you are cursing yourself to a life of frustration and darkness. If you are using it and producing satisfying creations, you are utilising your gift and sharing it with others. You will find your life is more balanced and fulfilled.